Gabriel tried to calm the Virgin. “Now, Mary, let’s act a bit more Handmaiden-ly. You didn’t even know the bucket was missing until Eligor started looking for it. You didn’t even know Jackass was married.”

“And why didn’t I?” the Virgin fumed. “Why wasn’t I kept informed? Isn’t that your job? Where have you been?”

 

“You were perfectly happy with other projects,” Gabriel said. “There’s no reason to go after small potatoes like Jackass. He’s some poor slob you put under a spell. He was trying to please you. God knows you’re a tough one to satisfy.” Gabriel was the only host in Heaven who could talk this way to the Holy Queen.

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” the Virgin said. “I’m not going to do any harm to him.”

From their hiding place, Rooster whispered, “Deep shit, getting deeper. I’m scared of that woman when she’s into her wrath thing.”

“Jennyass is the one needs to be afraid,” whispered Bull. “Let’s go warn her.”

“Why spoil the fun?” asked Billygoat and grinned so his long, yellow teeth showed.

Bull shook his horns. “I told you I don’t like evil spirit stuff.”

Rooster agreed. “Gone too far this time, Billy.”

“There ain’t too far to go,” Billygoat responded, and his glassy eyes reflected invisible flame. “There ain’t too high and there ain’t too low, and there sure as Hell ain’t too much fun in this world.”

 
 

Bull and Rooster slunk away then, uneasy in their hearts. With what evil outcome had they aligned themselves? It had begun so innocently! Jovially, even. It had begun as no more than a joke. Hadn't it?

Proverbs 6:27-28 — Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

 

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Jackass & the Holey Bucket 10 - GB0176