“OK, ladies, the joke is old,” said Billygoat. “Let’s find this thing.”
Viper-head half-lidded his eyes in a dream state and intoned mysteriously, “Seek in foul waters, by fowl advice.” Of the three heads, he tended the most toward affectation.
Monkey-head explicated: “Jennyass threw the pieces in the spring. Hen put her up to it.”
Everyone looked at Rooster who scratched in the dirt and shrugged his shoulders. “You try to control Hen if you think you’re so all-fired studly.”
Viper-head cried out, clutched by a vision. “Desecration and apostasy! A sacrificial victim is sought!”
Monkey-head interpreted: “Jennyass is going to pay big-time. All I can say is you guys better get that pail before the Virgin does.”
Bull asked, “How would the Virgin find it?”
Now everyone looked scornfully at Bull.
“Amateurs,” Monkey-head groaned.
“She has spies everywhere,” Billygoat explained.
“Even I know that,” added Rooster.
“OK, we have enough info,” Billygoat said. “You are released, Eligor. Go back to Tartarus, Ninth Region.”
The monster vanished. Hot ash remained behind, inside the triangle. A chemical smell lingered, like scorched paint on metal.
“Tell me again why we are going after this bucket,” said Bull.
“No special reason,” lied Billygoat. Then, “I collect artifacts,” which was true.
The three set off for the spring. When they got there, they discovered the Mother of Gods had beaten them to it, so they hid behind rocks.
The Virgin stood by the fountain, tapping her Holy Foot and looking mad as Hell. With her was her constant companion, the she-angel, Gabriel, who was down on angelic knees in the muck, gown sleeve rolled to the shoulder, right arm submerged in the muddy water.
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“I got it,” Gabriel said and sat upright. She pulled from the spring the bent and broken staves which she angelically ordered to reassemble. The end result looked pretty bad. Unlikely even a flea market would offer it.
“Look what that Jackass did!” cried the Virgin, obviously distressed. “Ruined the spring, broke the bucket, then ran off with the first little hussy who waved her twat in his face.”