But the wives were more motivated and organized than the husbands, so the females acted first. The Cows made inquiries and learned of a young Jennyass recently come of age on an adjoining farm.
”Just the ticket,” said Hen. “That’s the sort of virgin our boy needs.“
“As long as she’s not one of those snooty sorority types,” cautioned Sow.
“Blind dates are so stressful,” said Ewe. “Can we get them together in a more casual way?”
They agreed they needed some venue that best showcased Jennyass’s talents.
The Cows brainstormed among themselves until Cow Three suggested, “Jackass is terribly worn down. What if she nurses him back to health?”
The females declared the idea brilliant. They went to the girl’s parents who were agreeable because this arrangement guaranteed plenty of chaperones.
Everyone contributed to getting Jennyass ready. They curried her coat and styled her ears and pinched the teats of her tight little udder to make them pink. She was escorted to the ruined spring where Jackass lay, still sobbing into the dirty water.
”What have we here? A wounded hero!” Jennyass brayed. “I’m a sucker for a man seeking wisdom.”
She washed his sore feet and bound them in soft cloth bandages. She put soothing ointment on the abrasions dug into his lips. She brushed the mud out of his tattered hair and kissed his gaunt face and put compresses on his brow. She fed him the most tender grasses and grains.
After several days of these attentions, Jackass opened his eyes. He beheld the fairest creature seen anywhere in this fallen world.
”Who are you, Angel of Grace?” he whispered.
”Why, just a help-meet to a man with a vision,” she hee-hawed sweetly.